If I had a gene that meant I was at higher risk...

If I had a gene that meant I was at a higher risk for a disease, I wouldn't want to know. Because if I knew I would start panicking and wouldn't feel like doing anything. Also, I would worry every single day and night and I wouldn't be able to sleep. Also, I would hope to die sooner, because what happens if the genetics disease I had was painful? If it was painful, I would hope to die sooner as everyday passes by because I don't want to suffer. Suffering hurts a lot so I wouldn't want to suffer and I would wish I was going to die soon. I'd also count of the days till my death and sometimes I would kind of be excited for it. So thats why I wouldn't want to know what genetics disease I have if I had one.